Police officer: Anything you say will be held against you
rabioheab: dear diary, i finally got to 15 followers on tumblr. i’m trying really hard to not let the fame get to my head but it’s difficult. today some lady at the supermarket asked me if i wanted paper or plastic bags and i just f*****cking lost it i am too famous for her questions. i can’t believe i haven’t been asked to do a magazine cover yet. i feel like it is coming soon.
foodtrucker: i’m like an iphone i just lose energy without doing anything
me : i'll do homework
tumblr : get in loser we're going fangirling
You are not a pear, you are not an hourglass, you are not an apple; you are a human being, with bumps and crevices and scars. You are a million shapes rolled into one. You are a universe within yourself. You are a human being, and you are magnificent.
nayx: let me explain something to you son, exeggcute is a pile of eggs that evolves into a palm tree
oomshi: stop fucking flirting with my crush do you want to die omg
fullmetal-dipshit: ozzyosborntodie: “you’re a virgin, so obviously you know nothing about sex”
poopflow: ah yes i have finally found it the g spot
asap-tran: really-shit: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you. fuck
dustpelt: “and you will have to present it in front of the class”
before tumblr: 55% unsocial
after tumblr: 210% unsocial
my Son (places hand on your shoulder) (places other hand on your shoulder) (places hand on your head) (places other hand on your head) (places hand on your hip) (places other hand on your hip) eh macarena
You can’t just switch off your feelings because the other person did.– Sophie Kinsella (via onlinecounsellingcollege)